Coping with the Loss of a Parent

    When my parent died, I experienced many emotions. Not only had I lost someone dear to me, but I also lost someone I leaned on for support. I wish that I had another chance to thank them and to tell them how much they meant to me.

    Coping with the Loss of a Parent

    When my parent died, I felt a floodgate of emotions wash over me. I felt that not only had I lost someone dear to me, but I also lost a friend. Looking back, I wish that I had another chance to thank them and to tell them how much they were loved.

    Coping with the Loss of a Parent

    Pauline Brushett

    My Dad was an special guy. He was so patient, kind, and funny. Mostly, he love live and tell stories about when he was younger. He was a merchant and sailed dangerous waters returning from voyage from Halifax to pick up supplies and sell the fish. On way back he was surrounded by German fleets and submarines and planes overhead. They were scared for life: him, grandfather, my uncle’s…My dad was guy sail schooner, and nets, climb mast. He was girls “hero.” He taught me make bread, study hard, keep busy…Be positive no matter what…Dad got nasty headaches and was diagnosed with brain tumour. He survived surgery but had weak lungs; had nasty habit that he gave up. Dad loved play accordion. Be deacon in church; we had be quiet and good. When I was kid Dad went work 4am in morning. Retired when I was 12. Dad had nice smile. Even learned read when got older because he left school go on schooner. Dad knew sea; loved people help them out. He would be very helpful to me even though I had special needs. Good Dad. Miss berry picking, fishing, cooking food with you. Famous raisin cake, mug up. You were lot like my John in ways. Born on same peninsula. Always miss you. Part of me is in you. The music part. Music is fun and life. See you again in Golden Morning.

    I felt great peace, joy and relief when my Mother died. She represented strength because she was widowed early in life. I saw courage, stamina, wisdom and getting on with it. This will to move forward and do the best for her young family left behind. I saw her grow into the person she needed to become. My mother was constantly evolving. She helped to solidify within me that need to adapt and move on whatever life brought to me. When my mother was widowed at an early age and left with three small children that is when she was the strongest. That is when she started to shine. That is what Mom left for me to learn .

    Ms

    It’s very early days since my dad has passed away. I am overwhelmed with the immense amount of sorrow that I am feeling. I hope it will get better and easier but it’s so difficult knowing that I will never ever see him again. We were never very close and we disagreed on many things over the years but I know I will still miss him so much he was still my dear dad. My heart feels so broken…

    My mom was a very strong, independent woman who wanted things done her way. She always had the right answers to any question you could throw at her and was usually right! She died ( I have a hard time saying that) on September 30th, 2015. I was in denial that anything could happen to mom and when it did happen I was devastated. I’ve gone to grief counselling and drove people away with my grief. I realize death is the natural progression of life, but I miss her so much because she and I were so close. Time changes nothing but death changes everything.

    Mom's Letter

    I’ve have never felt guilt quite the way I did after my Mother died. I now know that there was nothing I could have done to prevent the outcome of her illness, but during her last days I was haunted with the feeling for a long time that I could have done more to help her.

    My sisters had a different experience. My oldest sister carried on without appearing to skip a beat. My two younger sisters struggled even more than I did. Perhaps it’s because throughout Mom’s illness I became the caretaker of the household – being the only one at home. And after her death, I saw how Dad changed – he lost his passion and his drive. It truly was a difficult time.

    It wasn’t until a month or so after her death that something changed. A letter came in the mail addressed to family of the late Mrs. Janes. I opened and read the story that explained how Mom had comforted a lady – a person she had just met – who was also grieving over the loss of her son. In the letter she described how Mom approached her, put her arm around her and spoke quietly and confidently to her. The lady said that her words made all the difference to her at that point in her grief.

    This letter made me think of other moments in Mom’s life where she quietly helped people, said things, and did things that made a difference. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Grief is a strange journey. This letter changed my outlook and how I chose to remember Mom. If it had not been for the letter of a stranger, I don’t know what would have changed my outlook

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